Leaving a Legacy

Many of the friends we made in the weeks and months following Rayna’s death recently passed the two year anniversaries of their losses – and we are approaching that same date in just over a week. It is wild how fast two years goes by! Our friends all have such neat ways of remembering their babies and giving back to others in their honor: gardens, donated breast milk, improving hospital bereavement programs (particularly raising money for bereavement tools such as cuddle cots), and so much more. We are fortunate to have friends who love their children fiercely and show that love through generosity.

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How to Help: Inner Circles

Over the last several weeks I’ve written about a circle theory applicable in the midst of trauma or loss. First, I covered what people in the Outer Circles can do for a grieving family. Second, I looked at Middle Circles. Today, I offer some ideas for those in the Inner Circles. Inner Circle people are most often going to be immediate family (spouse, parents, siblings); for some people Inner Circles would also include many extended family members and close friends. There are fewer people in the Inner Circles, and that is okay.

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How to Help: Middle Circles

A few weeks ago I wrote about a circle theory applicable in the midst of trauma or loss. Last week I wrote about what people in the Outer Circles can do to help someone facing loss. This week we’ll talk about Middle Circles. Middle Circle people might include close coworkers, neighbors you let know when you’re out of town, most friends, and people you see and share life with on a regular basis. Everything the Outer Circles can do to help also applies to the Middle Circles, and Middle Circles can add a layer of intimacy to their help.

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How to Help: Outer Circles

If you recall from last week, there’s a circle theory applicable in the midst of trauma or loss. The Outer Circles are those who are part of someone’s life, but not a family member or close friend. Neighbors up the street, business partners, friends of friends, 5th cousins, random Facebook friends, acquaintances and more all fit into the outer community circles. This post includes ways anyone can show up in support of people experiencing loss.

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How to Help

Nick once wrote about the Unofficial Club of parents who’ve lost children. Since joining the club we’ve known or been connected with several families recently joining. For us, being able to support these parents and those who care about them is an important part of our journey. Reaching out to sisters, grandparents, in-laws, and friends as they wonder what to do for the one they love who is experiencing such great pain.

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